**Heartstring of A new mommy**

I don’t really have a good sleep lately. Eventually I got shocked from my nightmare many times. It’s weird and scary too. Few days ago, I had this dream. It’s something about I was been judged guilty and to behead as punishment. You know, it’s similar to what we see from the movie of Justice Pao. I got struggled from this dream. It’s so real and I could feel the pain at my neck…*sweat*

The next day, as I was cleaning my bedroom and I saw this:

My deco pair of mandarin ducks & one of it was beheaded for no reason. So I went to look for the answer from dream interpretation and here is the answer:

Decapitation
To dream that you are decapitated indicates that you are not thinking clearly and are refusing to see the truth. You need to confront the situation or the person despite the pain and discomfort you might feel in doing so. The dream also suggests that you have the tendency to act before you think.

I think it reflected to my recent decision made on resignation.

Like I said on my previous post, it wasn’t a pleasant ‘days’ and it continue to being so. I noticed something wrong with my health. I had been on medical leaves for at least once in a week beginning of August. First, got fever for no reason, then having severe pain at chest. Doc advised I should not taking any heavier thing as my muscle near by left chest has hurt seriously. Though the medication could help to subside the pain but it come back after I stop taking. I then thought of taking leave to have a good rest (as advised by doc) but in view of my demanding boss commented that I’ve been on MC so frequently. Damn… it’s like sick also got to work.

Standing in front of mirror, I found myself look so emaciation. My hair is getting lesser due to having hair lost lately. Probably it’s because lack of sleep, stress & tiredness from having to work & done all house chores myself…..

It has not been present days to me this week. First of all, I lost USD15 paid post and page ranking (from 1 to big 0) due to domain renewal & transferred process. Secondly, mentally lectured by moody boss on the mini-minor matter, the worst was because of SHE who pandai-pandai (play smart) to criticize behind me. Damn…

This morning, when I thought of updating my blog @ blogspot, I got this:

“Your attempts to the web site has resulted Climate problem. Please contact your superior.”

Though it was some problem with connection or what, but then I realised ALL social network website had been blocked. I can’t access to FB, friendster, twitter, blogspot and it even pissed me off when my paid post marketplace also has been blocked. Damn…. Life seems getting tough!!!

Wonder if they is any software I can hack it to remove the blocking. Yeah, I know it sounds so devil… after all, it’s just my ranting!!

P/s: Sorry to you all there whose blogs hosted by blogspot, I am no longer able to blog-hop to your blog and won’t be updating my blog at blogspot too. Do continue to drop here if you free…. Thanks!!!

It’s always so good to be home, a place that you grown up with all the memories. The route, the building, the people all seem to be strange to me after so many years of not exploring the world. Sounds like it has been more than a decade never been to KL. But seriously, I never got the chance to drive alone in KL each time we back to KL.

I proposed to boss to work at Shah Alam branch these 2 days due to personal reason that required me to do so. I got a wrong route back home yesterday, after having a cup of tea with old friends. Instead of LDP/PLUS highway, I ended to take Federal Highway. Just realise that night scene of KL is damn nice, colourful lightings everywhere, traffic still heavy despite late night, accident still happened every single minute and it remind me about my past-time ‘lepak-ing’ in KL. Gosh…those were the time!!!

After all, it is so good to be HOME. and I’ve planned ahead my weekend with kiddos in KL. It’s going to be a very fun, joyable weekend to them.

Have a great weekend to all you too….

You know it’s so hard to own ‘ME’ time since I got children. First it was Xandria who refused to let me go even into bathroom and now, it’s Xavier turn to behave like that. Both of them like taking turn to fully ‘own’ me.

I got my company annual dinner last weekend. In fact I should be attended  the morning section but I didn’t and simply because I need to take care of them. I told my boss so and  she has nothing to say too. So, off I went to the dinner at very last minutes because stuck with them for the dinner. Xandria slowly gulping her food and I lost my patience and shouted at her. Daddy took over from me and continue to feed her.

I’m extremely late and still in need of sending both to babysitter for a few hours since daddy unable to handle 2 in one time. Later at night, daddy did a great job in pacifying Xavier for sleep but not Xandria. She was crying pitifully when I called back at 11.30pm. I rushed back immediately despite the dinner has not over and reached home at 12.30am.

I actually told by boss that I need to leave due to my baby is crying for mommy. I guess my boss got speechless for having staff like me. Thought she was really cried for mommy but the fact was, she got scolded by daddy for misbehavior. Sighh….

You know, I just wish to have an outing without having to worry about them. Eventually, I can’t.

my two close colleagues

Still remember about my post where I’m in the dilemma of whether to quit my job and to take care my Gen-X fulltime or to continue work with long hour. At times, I’m having the thought of postponing my decision so that I can save more simply because I wanted to buy gold eagle coins as my investment. Sounds a bit silly but frankly speaking, you won’t believe that the return is extremely satisfactory.

If I would know that the gold price can be that hike in 5 years time, I have gone for it. That’s because I did not listen to mom’s advice. She has keeping so much of it. So it’s always good to listen to elderly.

Earlier on, our company was gossiping about ‘Bonus’ for our Chinese New Year celebration. Some said, no and some said, the minimum of 1 month bonus to be given by company. True enough, the bonus entitlement was given to staff that has work more than a year. One month Bonus might not satisfied some staff but for me, it’s an extra monies for me to do my investment – buy gold coins.

Why should I choose for gold coins investment? It is because it’s safer, secure and with fast return too. What’s more I got to know that their experts do provide you with up-to-date info on your investment. To buy or to sell, it’s all on your decision.

Thank you for all your concern and caring. Both Xandria and I have feeling much more better as on today. My wound has recovered from bleeding but too bad, I still find a small bump at the back of Xandria head. Everyday, I try to rub it with an ointment but this little missy of mine refuses it.

It was a terrible accident I ever had. I can allow any hurt on myself but not to my children. Gosh, blamed myself for the careless and took granted on my children’s safety. Talking about safety, it reminds me about the protection of insurance. Probably I should pay a visit to the website of term life insurance quotes for my kiddos protection.

Few days after that accident, all of us except daddy were down with flu. Xavier was the ‘starter’, followed by Xandria and now, it’s my turn. You can imagine how tough our life can be. Xavier refused to drink milk due to blocking nose, Xandria unable to sleep tight at night and whined middle of night due to NO AIRCON. As for myself, took a day of medical leave on Monday and when I return to office the next, my boss shown me that ‘annoying’ face and reprimanded on my work.